I was watching the movie “Before Sunrise” with Ethan Hawke one night and there was a great scene with him commenting how it’s really a drag that the one person in life we do everything with is ourselves, and most of us don’t even really like ourselves that much. I mean, if you’re anything like me, you have a voice in your head that criticizes you pretty much constantly. How is it that we become our own worst enemy—the enemy we can’t escape?
So I decided to try and do something about it. I decided to come up with a handful of words that I would really like to be called, and then start using them on myself—the old fake it until you make it thing. If it holds true that our outer reality is really a reflection of our inner state of mind, then me calling myself stunning, radiant and delightful should have some effect on how the rest of the world sees me, right? I figured it was worth a try. The least it could do is make me feel good.
Little did I know the path this idea would lead me down. I came up with a small list of words off the top of my head—attractive, sweet, glorious, beautiful. As I said them to myself I could feel my body tensing with resistance. “These are not words we use to adorn ourselves”, my dark twin told me, “that’s just vanity”. So I figured I would need even more arsenal if I was going to overcome that lovely part of myself who doesn’t want to believe she’s divine. She can be pretty persistent.
I sat down at my computer and started using a thesaurus to find more exquisite words to whisper sweetly to myself. “Oh, my, you’re enchanting. How fascinating and endearing.” For every word I looked up, I found ten more charming words to employ. I soon had a startling list that was a magnificent hundred and twenty-five words long. I figure I’ve actually been called about five of them in my entire life-time.
So who is being called all of these words—fantastic words like luminous, compelling and beguiling? Are there men who tell their wives that they are blissfully mesmerizing? Are there women who whisper to their man that they find him superlative and enthralling? How many mothers amuse their children by calling them extraordinary? Maybe we still use these words to describe other things in life—a breathtaking view or a tremendous challenge—but how often do we use them to compliment each other, let alone ourselves? It made me sad to think that our once grand vocabulary has been deadened down to “she’s so hot” and “he’s so cute”.
I want to be incredibly notable, impressively superb, and marvelously engaging. Some days I will be elegant and graceful. My allure will be that I am witty and intriguing. Perhaps strangers I pass on the street will find me brilliantly captivating and I will see them as wonderfully enjoyable. Imagine a world where riveting people, terrific beyond belief, greet each other with the acknowledgement of how astounding and glorious we are. Would we still dislike our own company if we believed we are astonishingly fabulous?
You get the idea. I’ve only used up half the words on my list. If I am you and you are me and we are all one great, shimmering being, then why not honour ourselves with a vocabulary that is as splendid as we are. No more walking down the street with our bored, complaining self. Let’s leave behind our mundane lives and step into a world where we are all delectably boundless.
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